Have you tried 'rules' around your drinking?
- xiomara260
- May 6
- 2 min read
Have you set rules for your drinking before?
Rules such as the following:
"Liquor before beer, you're in the clear." "Only two per night and then I'll stop." "No hard spirits." "No drinking on weekdays (except Friday of course)." "I'll only have one more." "I'll just stick to beer and nothing else so I don't get in trouble." "I'm going to stop for a week." "I'm never drinking again!"
Only to break said rule a couple weeks, days, or hours later?
If you're anything like us, we had rules for our drinking to which we would eventually break. I had rules for my drinking FOR YEARS that I would break and change as needed - anything to not stop my alcohol habit all together. Our last and final rule was broken in Costa Rica when we decided enough was enough. Our rule: No hard spirits (because that was the problem, right?)
Well, we were on our last day on our beautiful vacation in Costa Rica. We were sad and emotional about leaving. We started day drinking mojitos in the afternoon, followed up by beers and then espresso martinis at the club later that night. This is our last drinking photo together.
That night we both blacked out and put our lives in danger. We don't know how we got home or what happened. We only remember bits and pieces. We know we got into a hot mess drunk fight. Yelling at each other outside our gated community Air BnB, pushing each other and throwing the contents of our freshly packed suitcases around the lawn.
The most ironic thing was we were receiving compliments on this trip about what an amazing couple we were and how we were the dream couple. In a lot of ways we were - but when we drank, we never knew who we were going to get. Alcohol was not aligning with who we were as a couple. We had to make a decision: Break up and keep drinking or stay together and quit drinking - because alcohol can no longer be apart of our relationship.
Some people are able to moderate their drinking habit, while others cannot. I would not consider myself an alcoholic but sometimes when I drank, I craved more. It's an addictive drug and if you have also struggled with this, know that it's not you, it's the booze.
I was more a "grey area drinking" where sometimes it was fine and other times it was not. Patrick would consider himself more aligned with an addictive personality and has called himself an alcoholic in the past. We've ultimately found that completely going alcohol free was the best choice for our lives.
If you're also on this journey of quitting alcohol, we're so proud of you. If you're currently struggling, please reach out. If you've set rules for your drinking in the past, I'd love to hear your story in the comments.
I am currently working on building confidence building courses for people in the alcohol free community both online and in person! If you'd like to stay up to date on upcoming events, please subscribe to our weekly newsletter!
Love from your favorite AF couple,
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