Is uncertainty part of your sobriety routine?

As sober people, we usually have certainty down to a T. We have our morning routine, we wake up on time and feel energized doing our day to day thing. Drinking often provided this certainty because we were certain we could rely on a drink at 5pm or after work pub on a Friday. (By now, hopefully you've found a way to destress without alcohol such as yoga, mocktails, meeting with a friend, having some quiet time, reading a book, exercise etc.) Tony Robbin's has claimed that humans have six core human needs that drive our behaviour. Two of those needs are certainty and uncertainty and we need both to feel fulfilled.

We know. The world is in an uncertain place right now so why would you want to seek that? Well, often times in sobriety we can get comfortable with our comfort zone. Drinking brought out the "wildness" in our lives and provided spontaneity. It's okay to say "no" to things you don't want but when you were drinking alcohol, I'm sure you were probably more down for a random adventure.

When Patrick and I went to Burningman two years ago, Patrick commented that he missed going to random camps and meeting people that way. I had expressed that we could still do that but he felt it wasn't the same. A huge part of Burningman is still not sober friendly which is why last year I set out to create a sober alternative group called "Alcohol Free Burners" that created tips for sober burning, a list of alcohol free friendly camps and put together an alcohol free pub crawl which had over 60 participants.

The United Kingdom has a huge drinking culture (similar to the United States) but London has provided quite a few drinking alternative events that have been fun. I still think there is a lack of these events and I aspire to create more for the sober community. We still miss the feeling of randomness and unplanned adventure that often comes with booze. Ecstatic dance events have been a great source for this because it requires breaking rhythm and free flow expression.

This past week, we decided to volunteer with Spartan races. We had a great time cheering on the kids on the youth Spartan course, providing protein bars to participants and tending to the fire obstacle at the end. Because of volunteering, we were able to run the "Super" for free which is 10k+ and 25+ obstacles and normally over $100. Now a Spartan 10k usually involves extreme incline and decline and does not include run time during the obstacles which involve climbing, grip strength, spear throwing, carrying heavy stuff, crawling through dirt and getting wet. Did I mention nobody gets out of a Spartan race looking clean? Patrick liked it so much, he decided to run the super TWICE. So we did it once together and he did it once on his own.

Where in your life can you can some "uncertainty" - some wildness to your life? Can you try eating new foods, learning a new subject, trying a new workout, running a new race or doing a new thing?

Sometimes we get stuck in our comfort zone and it's good to push yourself out. Get comfortable being uncomfortable and I'm sure your eyes will be open to new possibilities for your life.

Comment below for what you do for 'uncertainty' 👇 

Stay wild ~

Love from your favorite AF couple,

Xiomara and Patrick